Chocolate Freckles
by Trilla
Summary: Harry just wants to be left alone the summer after Sirius’ death but Lupin won’t let him. Mentions of SLASH: RLSB and HPRW.


Title: Chocolate Freckles  
Author: Trilla  
Rating: PG-13 for mild language and slash mentions  
Genre: General, Romance (sort of)  
Summary: Harry just wants to be alone the summer after Sirius' death but Lupin won't let him. Mentions of slash: RL/SB and H/R

* * *

"Go away!" Harry yelled in response to the unwelcome pounding that was coming from the locked bedroom door.

He knew it was Ron again; only the red head would try to knock down the door with his fists.

"C'mon Harry! How about a game? Get your set and let's play a round of chess!" Ron insisted.

"Leave me alone!" Harry yelled again and after a few seconds he heard Ron head back down the stairs.

Harry had been in this room for two days now ever since he had arrived at Grimauld Place a few days ago. The second he got there he had locked himself in his and Ron's room and stayed there in a self-imposed solitude. Sure, everyone from Mrs. Weasley to Tonks had tried to get him to come downstairs and be sociable, hell even Moody had tried, but Harry's response, or non-response in some cases, was clear to everyone.

_They don't understand_, Harry told himself. _They want me to act like I did before…before Sirius…_ Shite, he couldn't say it. By saying it he would remember what happened that night and remembering was the last thing he wanted to do. It was bad enough he dreamt about it every night and hardly got any sleep. _The only way to cure that_, Harry thought, _was to forget_.

A soft tapping sound came from the door. He could tell that it was Hermione this time because she always knocked softly. Harry responded to her attempts with a stony silence and after several more attempts, Harry heard her footsteps get father and father away.

Harry's stomach growled and knew that Mrs. Weasley would be up soon with some food. He wouldn't let her in, of course, but knew she would knock and ask softly: "Harry, are you sure you don't want to join us?"

And he would reply, "I don't want to, thanks," and she would leave a tray in front of his door.

Harry thought about whom else would try and talk some sense to him next and realized that the only person who hadn't tried so far was—

"Harry?"

Lupin.

"I don't want to talk about it." Harry answered harshly to Lupin's query.

"Alohomora!"

Harry jumped when the bedroom door went crashing around into the wall. Harry glanced around and saw Lupin in the doorway with his wand out and a stony expression on his face.

"Harry, just because no one has forced their way in yet doesn't mean we can't." Lupin said, coolly. He entered the room and closed the door behind him with a wave of his wand.

"I said I don't want to talk about it." Harry repeated and turned around on his bed to stare out the open window as a breeze rustled through the curtains.

"Personally I think that's rather selfish of you," Lupin said with a slight hint of anger in his voice. "You're not the only one who loved Sirius, you know."

Harry glanced once again at Lupin and then turned back to look out the window. Of course he knew that, but he sure as hell wasn't going to admit it, especially not to Lupin.

Harry felt the bed move as Lupin perched on the farthest edge.

"Everyone around here seems to think it's perfectly alright to tread eggshells around your behavior, but not me," he said sternly then sighed, "but I'm not here to try and talk sense into you, I'm not here to yell at you, and I'm most certainly not here to help you forget."

Harry watched a fly alight on the windowsill. Lupin paused, obviously waiting for some kind of reaction but when none came, he continued.

"I knew Sirius longer than you have Harry," he said quietly. "And I can assure you that he would not have taken kindly to being forgotten."

Harry had a feeling Lupin had a story to tell him that would have some hidden moral that would make him instantly regret his behavior. Not happening.

"I want to tell you something Harry, something that not a lot of people knew about. It might make you feel differently about Sirius and myself but I think you should know anyway. It may help you feel that you aren't alone in what you're feeling."

Harry turned to look at Lupin, giving him the courtesy of attention, it was the least he could do. He hadn't seen Lupin look so dejected before, as if the weight of the world was making his shoulders sag. Though he schooled his expressions well, Harry's curiosity had peaked…but only slightly.

Lupin noticed Harry's interest and went on slowly, letting every word sink in.

"Harry, Sirius and I…were lovers."

Lupin paused and searched Harry's face for a reaction. He caught the faintest glimpse of surprise and then incredulity before Harry got his emotions under control again.

Harry cursed himself for letting his facial expressions slip but he couldn't help it. If asked earlier what he thought Lupin was going to tell him, this was the last thing he would have expected. If he hadn't known his ex-professor wasn't the type to joke around, he would have thought Lupin was pulling his leg.

_Still_, Harry thought, _this could not be true; Sirius and Lupin hadn't acted a bit differently in the least when they were around each other_.

"As in, like…boyfriends?" Harry asked, breaking the silence and feeling his face start to burn.

"In a way, yes, I guess you could put it like that," Lupin said thoughtfully, pleased that Harry had finally decided to speak.

"But I thought…I mean…you two didn't act…well…" Harry stuttered, partly embarrassed that Lupin had brought this up in the first place.

"I know," Lupin said, smiling slightly. "We were very good at hiding it. We had a lot of practice you see, at Hogwarts. Sirius acted like he was the straightest man in the world. All the ladies fawned over him, he loved attention but he didn't love girls. He let slip the fact to me after going out with half a dozen of them in the span of a few months. Now I won't embarrass you with all the details but he and I got together soon after that and well…very few people knew."

Harry was still trying to get over the fact that Lupin, Professor Lupin, his ex-Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was, well, gay. Harry could have sworn his ears were still bright pink.

"How could you keep something like that a secret?" Harry asked, shocked.

"Well, your father knew, of course, Peter too, that was inevitable what with all of us sharing a dormitory and all. It was easy for me to hide behind my studies as an excuse to turn down offers from girls. Sirius went all out, though, and kept dating girls. He didn't enjoy it but it kept the rumors away and that was what we wanted. If someone came out of the broom closet, so to speak, they were looked down upon and ridiculed. It was generally not acceptable for a wizard to love a wizard. It's not much different nowadays but…

"Anyway, my point, Harry, is that Sirius would be severely disappointed if anyone forgot him. He did so much like being the center of attention." Lupin chuckled softly and grinned in reminiscence.

"How did you know I wouldn't be…you know, disgusted about this situation?" Harry asked sheepishly.

"I know you have an open mind Harry, I saw it in you when I was your teacher. And I also know how you feel about Ron." Lupin looked at him knowingly.

That put Harry in his place and he didn't quite know how to reply, so he kept silent.

"You two aren't very obvious about it you know, but I know how to read the signs and I'm sure Ron returns your feelings even if neither of you haven't acted on them yet."

"You're right," Harry said simply, picking at a stray thread on the bed sheet rather than face Lupin. There was no point in denying it when Lupin had already figured it out. "But I didn't want anyone to know." Harry finished, a hint of desperation in his voice.

He couldn't believe he was having this conversation with Lupin.

"I mean, I wasn't going to say anything at all but you brought up the subject…you did that on purpose didn't you?" Harry asked.

Lupin chuckled lightly.

"I have my ways," he chuckled.

In spite of the topic of conversation, Harry felt a certain heaviness leave his mind and float away out of the window. He felt he could try and face the world again.

"I know you're hungry," Lupin said. "Molly has been up to some baking today, delicious smells keep wafting out of the kitchen. C'mon."

Harry grinned and got up from his spot on the bed to follow Lupin downstairs.

In the Kitchen, Mrs. Weasley was bending over the stove while Hermione, Ron, and Ginny were sitting around the table stuffing their faces with Mrs. Weasley's famous chocolate cakes.

Harry wondered if Lupin had anything to do with the adding of that particular ingredient.

As Harry took a seat across from Ron, no one commented on how he was finally being sociable or asking him how he was doing. Harry was relieved. He glanced at Ron and noticed the other boy scrutinizing him carefully as if making sure it was truly Harry and not some strange apparition. Harry noticed that Ron had bits of chocolate on his face that formed dark, utterly lick-able freckles.

Harry met Ron's eyes and smiled at him, reaching for the nearest cake.

_Fin _


End file.
